Life is filled with many firsts. Though as you get older "the firsts" seem to come few and far in between. However, when you have a child, you have an opportunity to relive the firsts. As the mother of a one year old, the firsts seem to come fast and furious. I embody the phrase "living vicariously through him." Take for example, this week Benjamin went in a pool for the first time. I mean, I've dipped Ben's feet into Grandma and Grandpa's pool but this was a full fledged whole body in the water swim and he got a real kick out of it. I love to watch his expression as he experiences something for the first time. He is often apprehensive but gets over the initial unknown pretty quickly. After the brief anxiety, Ben is all smiles. Wally teaches him how to kick and he actually kicks. I never thought a child kicking around in water for the first time could bring me such joy. As he kicks through the water, he gets totally charged up and starts saying "kick, kick, kick" while bouncing around in his floaty making a few ripples in the water. It is a joy to watch Ben experience his firsts with such pure wonder in his eyes.
But Ben wasn't the only one to experience a first this week, it was also Mommy's turn. Yes, at 35 years of age, I experienced a first. I consider myself to be a pretty independent lady. If need be, I could take care of myself (but I like that Wally does). I've traveled to foreign countries by myself. I've lived alone. I've slept in a bed by myself for many years (before Wally) but there has been one thing that I have avoided doing by myself and that is going to the movies by myself. Why? I just always felt depressed when I saw someone sitting alone in a movie by themselves. Now, I know my Dad goes to the movies by himself and he doesn't depress me -- I know he loves the movies and enjoys going to the movies with or without someone. The other reason -- I don't want people to think that I'm alone. We can go into a whole analysis of me right now but let's just save that for another time. Let's just say, I had a first this week that made me feel great as I exited the movies by myself. I forgot about all my anxieties, and thought if Benjamin isn't afraid to let himself go and not let fear get the best of him I can too and I DID! There certainly is a first time for everything.