Sunday, June 15, 2008

Benjamin's Dad

When you get married, you don't have a crystal ball -- sometimes you wish you did. Wally and I were married in 1999. In our early years, we didn't talk about having kids much. In fact, I don't think we talked about it much at all but I didn't need a crystal ball to know that Wally would be a great Dad. We didn't need to talk about children or have a child to know in my heart the type of Dad Wally would be.
I would often see him with other people's children and I think, "he is a natural at this, he should be someone's Dad" -- I guess that's what got me to thinking about being a parent. It wasn't really my need to be a parent but it was the thought that Wally needed to be a Dad. It wasn't that he said to me, "Jenn I need to be a Dad." I knew he had to be.
One day, Wally and I realized that our family needed to grow and that we both wanted a child - a little something from each of us to express our love in the greatest way we knew how. Benjamin didn't come easy to Wally and me. During all the struggles, if it wasn't clear already, I knew that Wally was going to be a loving, nurturing Father, because he was the one who helped me the most during that time with encouragement, self-sacrifice and unending passion for our dream - all the needed qualities to be a great Dad. I felt awful sometimes because I couldn't give Wally his dream but he never, not once, made me feel guilty or that it was my fault - he always said, "we are in this together." Again, more reason, for this to happen for him.
The day Benjamin came kicking and screaming into our lives was the day my husband changed for ever. The day Ben was born -- a father was born as well, and my little boy is very lucky to have Wally as his Daddy.
Though he might not have realized until that moment -- Wally was born to be a Dad. I watch him with Benjamin and sometimes I am in sheer awe. From building endless sandcastles for him to strapping Ben (20-something pound Ben) onto his back and taking him for a hike to lifting him up to make a basket to cleaning his "poop, poop", he has such an easy way with Ben that it makes me feel like pinching myself and saying, "this can't be my life - how did I get to be so lucky?"
And boy does Benjamin love his Daddy...I really wanted Ben to be a Mommy's boy but I think in my heart I know he is a Daddy's boy. At 15 months, I can already see that Benjamin looks up to his father. He thinks of the world of him and I do too because I couldn't ask for a better father for my son. I didn't need a crystal ball to know that Wally was going to be one of the greats...I knew in it in my heart he would be. Happy Father's Day to one incredible Dad.


A Lo said...

I think both of you are blessed with each other and your little man.
Good things come to those who are good. Love,hugs,kisses Aunt Lorraine

Kris said...

Yes - Wally was meant to be a dad...but you were also meant to be a mom. I was grateful to have the opportunity to watch you interact this weekend. There is no question, Ben, at the tender age of 15 months, has a beautiful and meaningful relationship with both of his parents. As lucky as you are to have him (as we all are to have him in our lives) - he is so lucky that God gave him you and Wally as parents.