Monday, February 23, 2009

What Do You Get An Eighty-One Year Old Woman?

Last week, when we called my Granny to wish her a "Happy Birthday", Wally asked her what she wanted for her birthday. She told Wally that she wanted a man that stands upright and knows how to keep his mouth shut. I say to that Grandma - who doesn't? Wally said in reply that he thinks he might be able to arrange something for her. Wally, in true Wally fashion, wants to make every one's birthday wish come true including Grandma's rather straightforward (somewhat impossible) request.

With plans to see her a week from her birthday, Wally set out on Saturday to find Granny the "perfect man." The search involved heading up Route 23 to somewhere in Sussex County. Who knew all the upright, quiet men lived in Sussex County? Apparently, they also live in a porn shop as well. Six foot five, all man, Wally came out of Sussex County's finest porn shop with "Steve" the construction worker.

Steve and the Kamienski family made their way down to EP with Steve riding in the trunk. We left him in the car until the right moment. After dinner when Grandma was receiving tame gifts like puzzles, books and flowers Wally made his way downstairs to get Steve and make the introductions. As my Aunts, Cousins, Mom and Dad sat around Grandma, we presented her with a card that said we were about to make her birthday wishes come true that is when Wally entered with Steve. My family was somewhat horrified but my Granny laughed her ass off and gave Steve a pet name half-and-half due to the fact that he had a black face and white body (go figure). Grandma left the party later that night arm and arm with Steve, the man that stands upright and keeps his mouth shut. Nothing like making your 81 year old Grandmother's birthday wish come true.

1 comment:

Wally said...

I love that of my fav blogs of all time! It's not about being PC anymore people, it's about making wishes come true no matter the fallout. Enjoy your time with Steve, Grandma. And Happy Birthday!